Ok so the non-job turned out pretty well. No one got offered the job. So in the grand scheme of not wanting be offered it- that was the best possible outcome. In addition I received an email from my interviewer saying that I gave a great interview and that there may be a more exciting opportunity in the pipeline, but most importantly- he told me a line I will always remember- Stick to your guns and don’t let anyone tell you that you need to live in a bedsit in Croydon to be a success. I love that and as someone who has always struggled with people telling me I need to be in London to make it- it was a great comfort.
The week after the interview was pretty painful- following the stellar performance from mr x I ignored him all week until finally I cracked at the weekend and realised that he had in fact called me several times and messaged me to ask how the interview went. I was too angry to respond but then pushed it too far and pushed him away completely. Possibly a valid response bearing in mid the brutality of his message. But I couldn’t shift the feeling he didn’t man it.
So after days of listening ot my friends telling me to walk away, be strong, forget him. In my own typical fashion I decided to fight mean with nice- and bake cupcakes. Yes, that’s right- in the face of certain rejection I figured the best plan was to offer a ‘peace’ of cake offering. So I created to pretty awesome looking cakes (even if I do say so myself) and devised a plan.
The plan was to take the cakes over, tell him I wanted to talk – not right now- and was around the next day so if I didn’t hear from him then fine and if I did then to call me. However, just as I was about to jump in the car- I got a message- he wanted to go for a walk and talk! Spooky.
So off we went for a stroll around the local park. It was lovely. He apologized, we caught up- I told him my news about the job and told him I was off to learn to swim the following week and we walked, talked and laughed. He offered for me to come back and have a bottle of wine with him- I didn’t want the good time to end so agreed and then came the bombshell. After opening a ‘special’ bottle of wine he had been saving as he was so proud of me for the swimming idea- he told me that the reason he pushed me away was because he was terrified of falling in love with me.
News to me! And not really news that I knew what to do with- I mean after months of telling me how easily he falls in love and how many others girls he is/has been in love with- I wasn’t sure how to take the comment. So I went with the trusted ‘sweeping laugh’ the ha ha yea right, lets move on..sooo more wine?